Running post-stroke.

 Ok, so, my best friend is turning 40 this fall and she wanted to do a half marathon.

I ran 2 marathons in my 20s, Honolulu Diamond-head, and San Diego Rock-n-Roll. Both were hell, and despite training my balls off I never broke 5 hours.I am just a slow runner.  But I did finish, twice, even though it took some vomiting and a few other unfortunate accidents,  to make it across the finish line. That was then. My boyfriend at the time said I was exhibiting first child behavior, and that no sane person would run 26.2 miles just to prove they could. He had a good point. After the 2nd marathon, when I still hit a hard WALL  of doom at mile 22 and I started feeling horrible knee pain (at 25 yrs old), I decided: Ok, enough. You only get one body, you have to make it last. So I choose to focus on yoga, which made me feel good.  The rest is history.

So, jump ahead a good 13 yrs and now I'm a youngish and  mostly recovered stroke survivor with left side paralysis. Somehow despite this, because running is something I did before, and because I love sharing experiences with my girlfriends, I decided to give the Healdsburg 1/2 marathon a go. It's only half, afterall, right? I've never had a better run in my life than the primo half marathon in 1999. 13.1 miles is still reasonable. I'd never do a full marathon again, I'm not that crazy!

Unfortunately,what I wasn't remembering is that  I'm lucky to walk.I had to give up heels which was tragic for me. I fell down 7 flights of stairs in 5 years, I still have gait issues. I don't always realize this, but a quick glance at the shoes I wore everyday in Italy this summer (just a month ago) tells the story...

This is the left one. The outside edge is totally torn up. This is from disinhibition, which makes your body curl up into a fetal like position as a default after paralysis (new born babies also have this). Practically speaking, this means my toes curl (and not in a good way) on my left foot, which causes me to supinate, BIG TIME. Here is the evidence.      

My left shoe is a mess.

Compared to the right one it's really clear what's happening.

So when my gait is clearly this off-balance,  it's no wonder that when I try to run, it's a disaster! My efforts to train for this half marathon, which have been sort sad in their moderation,  have left me with so much pain in my right hip it's become hard to walk. I only worked up to 4 miles, and didn't even manage that.

Ugh...but the one thing I really can't stand is feeling like the stroke means I can't do something. I have moved mountains to get around the many  "can't" scenarios in my world.

For now I decided to walk. I can still spend the weekend in the wine country, I can still train for something, It's just something a bit more reasonable. Walking is something I'm pretty good at (when I'm not training to run).