"I failed my way to success."--Thomas Edison

Leaving for Goa, India tomorrow. Thinking about how I failed my way to one of my biggest dreams, going to practice Yoga with Rolf in India.

 6 years ago I was living in Rome when I realized yoga was my real passion, and wondering how I could make my next move to India. At the time the idea seemed so daunting. Would it be safe? How could I make money to live and still dedicate my life to practicing yoga? What about my relationship (My boyfriend had no interest)?. Little did I know how irrelevant that would seem later.

 4 years ago I was in Thailand practicing on the island of Koh Phangan with Rolf  for the first time when I realized that I was finally where I wanted to be, focused on yoga. I was between difficult consulting contracts and finally felt physically ok after 18 months of chronic stress and 14 hour days which had led me to develop and autoimmune disorder- graves disease. I shook and was constantly panicked, I was sweaty and starving, I couldn't sleep, my resting heart rate was 95 BPM on a good day, 130  BPM on a bad day. My family says I was like a coke head, jacked up all the time and twitchy for no reason. I wanted to extend my trip to Thailand,  but my boyfriend said he missed me and really needed me to come home. I caved. I only stayed two weeks. Rolf started to do back bend drop backs with me right before I left.   It was heaven, but it was over too soon.

 3 years ago during another break in my Schwab contracts, I tried to plan a trip to Goa to study with Rolf and my grandmother (Mom's Mom) went on hospice so I flew to Ohio to help my Mom and be with my grandma as she died. It was the right decision. But before I knew it I had run through my savings and it was time to go back to work.

2 years ago I was living through a series of strokes which closed an artery in my brain, I was buried in medical bills. I realized I could no longer work. I started to shut down my life in San Francisco- packing up my stuff, breaking up with my Fiance, quitting my contract and closing my business.  As I looked down the barrel at medical bankruptcy, I knew my Goa dream wasn't realistic.

 Last year, after SSD disability payments started and I realized I had an income without working, I planned to go. I thought that for me, living out this one dream is the only thing I could do to make the most of a really tough situation. Life had given me lemons and India was to be my chance to make lemonade! But once I saw that tickets from Ohio were $2500, I realized I couldn't afford the ticket. I also realized talking to Rolf's wife Marci that it would be dangerous to bring my new puppy. Mom didn't like it. She thought I had been through enough health wise and India isn't safe. It wasn't the right time.

Now...Years of failed plans and multiple life catastrophes brought me here - to the realization of a dream. It literally took a break up with my Fiance, a bankruptcy, disability and inability to work resulting in a modest but regular income without working-- all of these holes in my life created the right opening for me. I feel lucky. I feel astonished at the way life works. I have a one way ticket and nothing holding me back!