Where am I?

"The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom is courage." -Gilbert Murray
October 5-7th

Feeling both free and courageous right now. After such a crazy journey, I may have been happy with anywhere I landed. But I do feel especially happy to have found myself here and with a couple days to settle in before the yoga start on Monday morning at 5:30 a.m. (ack! How will I ever get used to waking up that early?)

Where am I? 

Goa is interesting. Having lived in Europe, one of the first things I notice apart from the smell is the European architecture and cultural clues everywhere. It seems to be a matriarchal culture. I don't have much to base that on yet, but I feel it, I recognize a place where, like Italy,  the Mom is the center of the universe. There aren't many men around. Or maybe I should say, I only see young men out and about. Teenage boys worshiped by their mothers, but not many grown men. 

Goa was a Portuguese Colony until it became an independent state and part of India in 1961.  That's not really that long ago. Here are some visuals to back this up and a little glimpse of my new home. 

My building. The arches remind me of my old SF marina apt. I have 2 balconies and a roof terrace which rocks! Note the portuguese colonial feel.

Living Room in all it's glory. This is the cozy couch my guests can sleep on (j/k).

Tiny, tiny kitchen. But plenty of room to make tea, which is all I really need. Plus I found peanut butter and powdered soup. I'm really tearing shit up with my new elec. kettle.

I think this stray is applying for Penny's position. It guarded my door all night. Very quiet and sweet.

Bedroom. Real simple, but I like it. I'm just so happy to sleep stretched out right now. By the way, not to get too personal but my apt is $10 a night, cheaper per month and I'm a 1 min. walk from the ocean. (sorry, I'm bragging)


Ok, that's it for now. I'm so happy to be here. But, honestly,  I am worried about practice without the props I brought to modify the things I can't do. Oh well..India must want me to know I can live without them...? Thanks for listening. I find myself facebooking a lot to feel connected to friends and family and  the world outside this tiny little beach paradise. 

Porous with travel fever - India calling me on my shit (already?)

"I'm porous with travel fever but still so glad to be on my own". - Joni Mitchel --Hejera

India is calling me on my shit! I am an over-packer and I guess India is going to show me I don't need all that stuff. I still don't have my bags and I wonder if I ever will????Here's how the 60 + hour journey to India went: 

Notes from the road... 

• 9/30/09 Flew to NYC, both bags were overweight but not as expensive as I feared. 
• 9/30/09 Leaving penny was like ripping my guts out. All is well though, on the road. As Pattabhi Jois would say, "Why fearing? All is coming!" 
• 10/1/09  Flight to Mumbai was cancelled waited in world's longest line to reschedule. Off to rough start! 
• 10/1/09 Lost both overweight bags already, they didn't make it to the counter in time for my new flight. Had to make tough call and take new flight anyway.
• 10/1/09 On kuwait air now headed for Mumbai again from JFK... 
•  10/2/09 OMG 60 hours in and it continues... Sat in plane on runway for four hours waiting for weather to clear. They finally just let us off. No idea if /when I'll ever make it to goa. Running out of steam, becoming narcoleptic. Gave away only clothes I had when they made me check my carry on bag. Down to no bags and iPhone is out of batery (me too). 
•  10/2/09 3 full days later, I arrive. Thank god penny wasn't with me. So this is india. It has been tremendously dysfunctional and frustrating but you know I met so many kind faces along the way, people who tried to help me and take care of me.. India may not work very well but the people are wonderful.
•  10/3/09 Slept flat on a bed for a few hours. A little jet lagged and hungry but doing fine 

10/4/09 My apt in goa, it's not much but I'm really comfortable here so far. Kind of reminds me of Europe in little ways--light switches, tiny kitchen,fans. Check out my super cozy couch :-)

10/05/09 I need a penny mule. I don't think I can live w/o her. Cried 3 times today about her. Pathetic. Landlord said I could have a dog no problem. Ouch. 

I mean, come on, isn't she cute???

"I failed my way to success."--Thomas Edison

Leaving for Goa, India tomorrow. Thinking about how I failed my way to one of my biggest dreams, going to practice Yoga with Rolf in India.

 6 years ago I was living in Rome when I realized yoga was my real passion, and wondering how I could make my next move to India. At the time the idea seemed so daunting. Would it be safe? How could I make money to live and still dedicate my life to practicing yoga? What about my relationship (My boyfriend had no interest)?. Little did I know how irrelevant that would seem later.

 4 years ago I was in Thailand practicing on the island of Koh Phangan with Rolf  for the first time when I realized that I was finally where I wanted to be, focused on yoga. I was between difficult consulting contracts and finally felt physically ok after 18 months of chronic stress and 14 hour days which had led me to develop and autoimmune disorder- graves disease. I shook and was constantly panicked, I was sweaty and starving, I couldn't sleep, my resting heart rate was 95 BPM on a good day, 130  BPM on a bad day. My family says I was like a coke head, jacked up all the time and twitchy for no reason. I wanted to extend my trip to Thailand,  but my boyfriend said he missed me and really needed me to come home. I caved. I only stayed two weeks. Rolf started to do back bend drop backs with me right before I left.   It was heaven, but it was over too soon.

 3 years ago during another break in my Schwab contracts, I tried to plan a trip to Goa to study with Rolf and my grandmother (Mom's Mom) went on hospice so I flew to Ohio to help my Mom and be with my grandma as she died. It was the right decision. But before I knew it I had run through my savings and it was time to go back to work.

2 years ago I was living through a series of strokes which closed an artery in my brain, I was buried in medical bills. I realized I could no longer work. I started to shut down my life in San Francisco- packing up my stuff, breaking up with my Fiance, quitting my contract and closing my business.  As I looked down the barrel at medical bankruptcy, I knew my Goa dream wasn't realistic.

 Last year, after SSD disability payments started and I realized I had an income without working, I planned to go. I thought that for me, living out this one dream is the only thing I could do to make the most of a really tough situation. Life had given me lemons and India was to be my chance to make lemonade! But once I saw that tickets from Ohio were $2500, I realized I couldn't afford the ticket. I also realized talking to Rolf's wife Marci that it would be dangerous to bring my new puppy. Mom didn't like it. She thought I had been through enough health wise and India isn't safe. It wasn't the right time.

Now...Years of failed plans and multiple life catastrophes brought me here - to the realization of a dream. It literally took a break up with my Fiance, a bankruptcy, disability and inability to work resulting in a modest but regular income without working-- all of these holes in my life created the right opening for me. I feel lucky. I feel astonished at the way life works. I have a one way ticket and nothing holding me back!

Bought my ticket

Well, I guess the first step of any journey is figuring out how you're going to get there. Step 1= Check. Bought my one-way ticket. I now know that I will be leaving from Colombus, Ohio flying to Goa, India on September 30th.

So, in a sense, the journey begins here!I also received an amazing new suitcase which I believe will solve all of my problems being that it's both a backpack and a roller and it holds a ton of stuff. I will now test my non-existent web skills and see if I can link to said suitcase...

[hold on it's taking a second...and yes! there is a simple button! Thank god I tried to edit the html first, I wouldn't want to take the easy way out of anything]

Oh my god, I am sooo fancy now I can hardly stand myself. Yes, I am now consider myself part of the technorati (though not technically, ha!). Ok, I'll stop bragging, lest I accidentally turn into Steve Dixon (god forbid). I'm a total dork, which should become clear to everyone soon enough.

Meanwhile back to the subject at hand, the suitcase, Dan (Rosenstark) would disagree about this suitcase being the bomb.  Dan would argue that now that I'm out of college I no longer need to be a backpacker. Too true. However, imaginary Dan, the last yoga journey I did required me to arrive on an island in Thailand via a long-tail boat. I then had to hoist myself out of said boat into waist deep water carrying my backpack above my head, make to the beach, and then hike 30 mins up a cliff along the ocean to get to my bungalow. No way a roller-pack would have sufficed. I'm not the kind of gal who packs a reasonable amount of stuff which I could lift with one hand while hiking.

Also, theoretical Dan, remember the time we were in London and we took the tube from heathrow and all the stairs we had to climb between train tracks? Uh-huh, there I was carrying my possessions in an ergonomic fashion while you struggled up the stairs holding your suitcase by the handle. Yeah, just admit it, I won. That's right, I was the winner until all my stuff was stolen from our rental car in Valencia. But then, that's a longer story...

The point is, if anyone is reading, if anyone is out there. In my mind the journey has begun!
Ticket=check
Killer hybrid rolling suitcase/backpack=check

Now all I need is a 6-month tourist visa for India, to pay for my yoga program and I need to pack (rocketscience)!

Thanks for reading this blather. I promise to get to the more important points about this spiritual journey next time. But we had to start somewhere!